Thursday, August 28, 2008

after the beep

there is the silence that waits for me to fill it with words. those useless words that don't mean anything. sometimes just a check call, like red-winged blackbirds: i'm here, are you?

all i have is silence.

determined silence.

i will not think, i will not feel. if i try hard enough, i will not be.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

taking stock

well then!

you make mistakes, you fall down. you get to your feet, you brush yourself off. and you continue on. as long as your face doesn't recognize the blood from the open wounds, it is not very likely that anyone will bring it to your attention. unless it is one of those busybodies who likes to "help."

help? help? help would have been to tell me that there was an open pothole and for me to take care. help would have been to grab me by the arm and yank (guide) me away.

help is not letting me know that i probably need stitches and that i should probably head to the emergency room. i know all that thank you very much!

i don't need your help! i need you to look away. there is nothing to see here, nothing at all.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

wading in water

i read a book last night. title: the veil lifted; or the romance & reality of convent life. author: eliza smith richardson. year of publication: 1869. <-- no wonder it was in the library's annex.

it is an interesting little thing. it describes convent life in 16 chapters, each one centered around a particular nun, novice or postulate. and each chapter is entirely devoted to describing a seclusionary convent as a hellishly, anti-godly, place of perversion against the human ésprit.

what is funny is that what the author describes as being particular to convent life, can equally apply to religious life in general. the same aspects of soul-trampling, domineering, objectifying, and idolatry, are not specific to any religious group, something that this author, a proud protestant who thinks that romanists cultivate the spirit of the anti-christ, totally ignores.


Friday, August 08, 2008

route less traveled

once again, here's a link to libé's 400 culs (post date of 08/08/08). don't let the name of the blog put you off reading the article; it is fascinating.

to think that folks would actually actually actually prefer the false to the true. to the point of emptying one's wallet. living like a pacha? whatever. more like living in mme. toussaud's museum.

it is amazing. it is disturbing on a profound level.

personally, i think it has to do with high population to space ratios. remember those mice??

knee-jerk reaction = done.

more objectively. i think it's a very good solution for many marital problems. and for those of us who wish to have someone to come home to, but do not wish to deal with that someone's nonsense, this is also a very good solution.

i have one bone to pick with the makers though. where are les mecs?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


i am an angry bean today. (well, most days, to be truthful, but today in particular.)

the foment and ferment could be due to lack of sleep, inadequate nutrition, coupled with the stress of acting pleasant. but i will be honest and say it is fueled by honesty.

yes, friends and neighbors, this inherently duplicitous bean has run smack up against honesty. what a hateful word. implying openess and freshness of face. implying pastoral living and sheepcrooks.

i spit upon that image.

especially since you have crafted it.

once more i am compelled to put on the mask (they're all THE mask, no matter how many i have; variants on the same theme, if you will), but today my face is having a hard time fitting into the confines.

maybe if i cut off an ear...?