Friday, September 30, 2005

gloves & food

i enjoyed this article. why? because of the fact that it is true. washing your hands regularly is safer than wearing gloves. and it is also true about the class issue. although i'd say more of a price range issue than class. firmly lower middle class, every so often i could go to a high-end dining establishment if i so chose. but i admit that i don't have the poise or clothes or self-confidence to enjoy my meal if i did choose to eat somewhere really chi-chi.

the thing that i thought was really apt in the article though, was when the author wrote, "Because in the end, it's not gloves, but engaged cooks—those who care about the outcome of their work—that make for good food, and safer food." when one cares about what one does, one does it better. q.e.d.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

trigger switches

there are few phrases that tick me off as much as:

Jesus loves you.

yes i hear that, and a large part of me wants to reach out and choke whoever said it. no matter that they might have meant well. i still see red, and want to choke them.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

money & faith

oh my. i just wrote a check for a house payment. it almost hurt.

and i put it in the mail. but i forgot to post-date it for the beginning of october. so they'll have the option to deposit it as soon as it reaches their hot little hands. the thing is that i don't get paid til the start of october, so if they try and get their money before then, maybe they will and maybe they won't. depends on the frame of mind of my bank.

this is where faith comes in.

i must have faith that the Divine won't let my check bounce. oooooh it's hard!

faith actions crop up all the time lately. and they're hard all the way around. they didn't used to be. what the heck happened??

Thursday, September 22, 2005

science meets reality

read this. it's suspiciously like the study on overcrowded mice who ended up with three apparent genders. and how intriguing that it is taking place on an island!


in the future, when i hear the cat crying at the door in the mornings, after my alarm has gone off, i will open the door and let the cat in. he'll get some attention, and i'll get motivation to get out of bed.

because i realize that i am not home very much. and i would prefer that he not get neurotic from being alone in the house. getting another cat right now is not an idea i wish to consider.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


is reading aloud leisurely to someone, and having someone read leisurely aloud to you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


i have food issues. <--there, i said it. actually i suppose the greater issue that i have is financial. i was brought up to think that being a "good steward" was very important, imperative in fact. my family has been less-than-wealthy for all of my life. as a result, my desire to save and manage intelligently conflicts with my "need" to have good food, and clothes with no holes in them. because deep down i feel like i shouldn't buy any more clothes than i have, even though they are threadbare and holey. and i feel like i should be able to subsist on air as nourishment. i actually feel slightly guilty buying quality veggies/fruit, because part of me thinks that i should just eat what's cheapest. because if i don't then i'm not being a good steward. and then if i try to convince myself that quality is an important factor, i feel like i'm lying to myself, just trying to excuse my exorbitant spending habits.

it's weird and twisted. i understand this.

the problem now is that the above coupled with my mild depression is helping me to eat unhealthily. which doesn't help anything, mental or physical.

add to that combo a snag in the road to faith as described by hebrews 11:1, and i recognize i'm in a place that i wish to leave.

Monday, September 19, 2005


the residual anger/upset/annoyance/frustration from this weekend, plus the stuff from today is making my head hurt. and it's not even 10am. fantastic.

...when does a joke lose its humor? i've been running a practical joke for almost the past month. and no one has noticed. absolutely driving me nuts. but only when i look up and see it. which is every single day!!! so my options are to cut my losses, or go big. however there is a chance that the straight man will go ballistic when the joke comes to fruition. and i just realized that a few minutes ago. other news, Isa 45:7 says --> I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Friday, September 16, 2005

going home

i heard a statement a long time ago: you can't go home again.

and that statement is SO true. i mean, after leaving your parents' house for college, work, other, you can never return to that safe, warm, pre-natal place again. because it's all in the past. and time doesn't stop for anything short of the Divine. and it may never have even existed in the first place; a lot of dreams disperse, illusions fade, when one leaves "the nest."

i was reminded of that truth today. i used to be a member of a certain group. and it was a fabulous time. there was fellowship and support and no sense of inside-outside. however my status changed, and i have sort of moved on. however they graciously let me keep a foot in the door.

i attended one of their workshops today. as a panel participant. and it was like i was in some sort of half-existence. because i'm not a part of them anymore. if i am honest i must admit that my path has diverged. now i am on the outside. and it sucks.

as much as i may participate in their activities like i did when i was a full member, i can't go home again. the relationship has changed. my love for them, and their love for me, doesn't fix the break.

Friday, September 09, 2005

cats and children

i acquired a cat about a month and a week ago. it's good to have the company. and having something live to take care of is very satisfying. plants are excellent, but they don't move. fish are very lovely, but you can't interact with them much through the plexiglass (or acrylic, if you swing that way). cats, dogs, ferrets, little cappuchin monkeys, are on a whole other level.

so i have a cat. an established, mature cat. i knew i didn't have the time to dedicate to kitten training and whatnot, although kittens are just so darn cute! the dark side is that this cat is an established, mature specimen. which means that he has certain habits that he isn't going to break for me just yet. he's got "personality."

yesterday he peed on my bed. the second time he's done that (peed outside of the normal pee-ing place) while in my care. the first time, i think he felt neglected and lonely. this time i think it was perverse-ness. unless of course the freshly scooped litter was not to his liking. and i'll give him the benefit of the doubt, now that i've had time to calm down.

but the experience made me realize for the umpteenth time, that i am not ready for children yet. yes i'm getting up there in age, and perhaps i should want to pass my genes along, evolutionary urge and all. but i don't. and the more i deal with children, the less there is that want.

i seriously wanted to beat the cat, or throw him in the bathroom and leave him there all day, or chuck him out the door into the night, and forget his existence. and that was just for a cat! imagine if i had a small one that wouldn't stop crying. or kept runing in and out through the screen door. or kept pulling at me for my attention. yikes. my blood pressure rises just considering those scenarios!

cats are not people. just like children (below a certain age) are not people. i am convinced of this. some children may do a good imitation of people, but they are not. their sense of morality, if they have one, is very different from people's view of morality. and i don't believe that cats are moral creatures. they just are. children just are.

i have much respect for those who raise children, who keep cats, without killing or harming their charges. much respect.

Friday, September 02, 2005

the turned tables?

check it out, the us may now be receiving foreign aid. i find this more than a little ironic. i mean, aren't we supposed to be the big dog? the top of the top? and we can't even help our own. lovely.
the condescension of europe and asia amazes me. and i like their approach: they're waiting to hear if we need them. isn't that polite, genteel even. no ramming anything down our throats, just an open door so to speak. how... democratic.