Friday, June 01, 2012

muscles unused

I no longer keep a journal.
On paper the words became too powerful
...and yet not powerful enough to express the roiling chaos,
because I did not want to deal with
those feelings.

And now I have less of a choice.
Or rather my choices come down to acceptance
of eating glass,
Or melting that glass and blowing a goblet for holding key limes.

But the paper is insecure.

This electronic medium, though less stable, reflects my instability.

I will try.


Thursday, December 01, 2011


a new month

where is the anticipation?

-a new slate to write on-

instead, the creeping dread

more time spent here

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

mime in transition

today i go through the motions


that eventually

the lie will become the truth

Saturday, October 15, 2011


my heart hurts

mythical organ that is the seat of emotion

actual organ that does no more than move blood

i don't know

my chest, under my ribs, is full of pain

my eyes, full of tears

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

back forth

he says "i'm tired of being a parent."

she says "i'm tired of being a second wife and a step mom."

he means that being responsible is a hard job.

she means that not being first choice is a hard job.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


that sudden change in direction

no time to adjust

and now i drink myself to sleep.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

post-party letdown

i keep finding pieces of myself

and since i have no place to put them

i throw them in the trash.