i realized, through half-closed eyes

so i go these meetings, and when i come out, sometimes there is a profound sense of dis-equilibration. for example today:

--it seemed like le docteur was saying that i should assimilate to the culture that i am in, instead of the culture that i am from; but why should i be the odd man out?; what makes the culture où je suis, any more valid than the culture d'où je suis?

--even though something is normal, does that mean that i have to indulge?; the discussion on marriage was on the table and i feel no need to get married because of how i see it, and it seemed like le docteur was trying to ferret out a reason for the slight abnormality, after all marriage is a norm; but why can't i be one of those people who have no desire to indulge?

yeah i recognize that i have a couple quirks; i have problems with my current denomination, i have problems with my parental units, and those two are probably at the root of my other little quirks. so in that respect i'm appreciative of the time i spend sur le canapé. at the same time, there are moments when i wonder how helpful it's all going to be in the final analysis...