Wednesday, December 14, 2005

sins of the father...

every now and then, i really want to delicately and gently tell someone off because of something they've done to me. but not only that. i want them to grovel a little, and tell me how sorry they are. and then i want to make them feel unworthy and small and inept. then after another suite of apologies, i want to tell them that all is well.

after a wait of some time, when their actions flip my switch i want to tell them off again, and bring up this particular incident so that they can grovel, er apologise, for it just a little bit more.

lastly, although i'll say i forgive them, i'll always reserve the right to bring up this incident and any more that come along. not only that, but i will use my right to re-hash those mealy old potatoes.

all in all, it's a kind of cyclic thing. but not a complete circle, more of a spiral outwards.

and as much as i really want to do the above mentioned items, i do not. why? perhaps because of God's grace. i'd like to believe that inspite of what i may be feeling at any particular time, a good work is being completed in me. piece by jagged piece.


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